We all have beliefs and assumptions about relationships. Some are helpful and supportive while others are fundamentally flawed and can get us into trouble. Below is a list of some of the more common beliefs (and behaviours) that create problems in relationships.
- If you loved me you would know what I want (what I mean).
- Saying you can’t listen to me right now means you don’t love me.
- You can’t understand since you don’t feel the same way.
- You know what would make me happy but you are purposely not doing it.
- You know how I feel about that issue and should avoid bringing it up.
- If I hide my feelings and go along as though nothing is wrong, things will get better.
- If I disagree with you, you won’t love me.
- Giving in for now and not making waves will get us through this rough spot.
- The future of our relationship rests on being able to resolve this argument now.
- If I don’t fight back, you’ll get the best of me.
- Because we have a difference of opinion, we are incompatible.
- I’m right and you’re wrong.
- Rather than bringing up the problem now, I’ll wait and see what happens.
- I can’t change and/or you can’t change.
